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You can’t make this stuff up: things heard in the pileup when the tension boils over ...
“Kilo [something], why do you have to screw up every DX pileup?
He’s listening up 5. That’s 5 up. Transmit 5 kilohertz HF.
Look at your fingers and count with me: one, two, three, four, five ...”
One of the more polite and amusing
admonishments transmitted over
4U1UN on 17m SSB in March 2022
"We can do it your way and just sit here,
or we can do it my way and make contacts.
Now ..."
Thanks Jim NU0C
“Whisky America Niner Foxtrot Whisky Tango” ... (several calls)
“I hear someone with a callsign ending in Tango - err, you’re the only one
out here I hear, let’s try to work you. Give me the call please - again.”
“Whisky America Niner Foxtrot Whisky Tango”
... (several more calls)
“OK all I need is the number: I have Whisky Foxtrot Whisky Tango. Give me a number.”
“Nine Nine Whisky America Niner Whisky America Niner Foxtrot Whisky Tango
Whisky Alpha Niner Foxtrot Whisky Tango”
“Is it Whisky Delta Two?”
“Negative Negative Whisky America Niner Nine Nine Eight Nine Eight Nine Nine Nine”
“I think sign language would work better than this! [LOL]
I’m not getting the call! I’m sorry mister!”
That’s AA0PO enjoying himself on 20m,
entertaining the waiting pile at W1AW/0
“He is working split!!”
“Huh?”
“He is listening up!!”
“Huh??”
“He is not listening on this frequency!!”
”Then why is he transmitting here?”
Heard by David G3WGN, M6O
Spoken loudly and deliberately, with a gentle Southern drawl, on the DX frequency:
“Dubya bee two [something], if ya listened more carefully you would
in-ev-it-a-bly re-a-lize that he’s op-er-a-tin split
”
Heard in the 12m pile for T30PY
From an overwhelmed KH6 in Field Day:
“OK guys, too many callers ...
”
... QRM QRM QRM ...
“OK, guys, just the GOOD operators ...
”
... QRM QRM QRM ...
“OK guys, just the GOOD operators, with BIG signals, call now!
”
Thanks for that gem Dan W5XZ
“The station with Italy in the callsign - call NOW!
”
“Charlie X-ray [something], what’s my number, my number again”
“Zulu X-ray five Japan you are five nine five nine. My name is Albert Albert over”
“No no, Charlie X-ray [something], what’s my number, my number,
numero numero por favor ”
“Zulu X-ray five Japan you are five nine five nine.
My name is Albert. I spell: alpha, lima, bravo ...”
“Thanks. QRZ Zulu X-ray five Japan”
During CQ WPX SSB contest 2019
From a struggling DX op:
... QRM QRM QRM ...
“Please call one at a time ...
”
... QRM ... [some were laughing too hard]
From a list-style DX op:
“QRZ number three, only number three please ...
”
... QRM QRM QRM ...
“Italy four alpha bravo charlie, you are not a three so I will not acknowledge you.
”
Doh
“Thanks: who am I calling?”
QRM QRM QRM
“It’s VK0KEV, Fred”
QRM QRM
“VK who?”
QRM
“It’s VK0KEV Fred and you’re 5-9 on Macquarie Island”
QRM QRM
“VK something, sorry I’m still missing your call. I don’t know who you are
but you obviously know me. Well anyway you are 5-9 and there are
loads of people calling you, over”
“VK0KEV VK0KEV”
[Cue bedlam]
Here’s another anecdote from the same exotic DX QTH.
OZ8AE on Macquarie Island heard a group of Swedes
on 10/SSB and gave them a call in Danish.
Their response was “Sorry, this is a local group”
!
Thanks Stan SM7WT
“UP UP QSY UP!!! [diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle] QSY UP!! UP!!”
Transmitted in RTTY, at length ... right on top of TU2T
Gee thanks
“Why are you tuning up on this frequency, you lid?”
Transmitted on TU2T’s frequency ... by a loud-mouth VK2 who had just worked them ...
“Thanks for the QSO. I won’t hold it as there are lots of people calling you.
You’ve got a great signal! Enjoy yourself in the pileup. Oh by the way
my name is Angelo - alpha november golf ...”
Heard in many a SSB pileup, as if nobody realised it was a pileup. Sheesh.
“PSE STOP STOP THE COOPS”
Sent in CW over FT5JA by someone with a poultry phobia, I guess.
Play Guess My Prefix
with IK2ECC
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
The first 10 of those clips were sent in the space of about 10 minutes in June 2017,
leading to him being spotted as S49/IK2ECC first by RBN skimmers and then by hopeful DXers,
some of whom were probably over-excited at working such a weird South African prefix and
weren’t patient enough to figure out or ask him to confirm his actual QTH and callsign.
Further contributions welcome, MP3 recordings especially.
If something makes you smile in the pileup, email me the details.
A carefully-timed brief humourous comment is marginally better than the usual
“UP UP UP UP YOU IDIOT! WRONG VFO LID! HE’S LISTENIN UP YOU ASS!
JEEZUS WHAT AN IDIOT! GO BACK TO CB! ...”
Advice to pileup kops
Here’s a plea to all you pileup kops and spleet poleece Out There. You are not the only ones
listening to someone making a fool of himself on the DX station’s TX frequency. Many of us in the
pileup can probably hear him too. Almost all of us choose to ignore the fool, remember that we
got it wrong once ourselves, and hope he will soon spot the error of his VFOs (it may take him a
moment to notice, so we are patient). We turn our antennas and use our filters and notches to
good effect, and mostly carry on calling the DX when the DX invites further calls (and not before!)
. If the fool persists, some may decide to Do Something Positive About It, such as sending him a private TALK message (NOT an ANNOUNCE/ALL or a pseudo-spot!) on the DXcluster network to
point out the error of his ways, politely of course. Those of you who foolishly decide to become
pileup kops and start transmitting “UP UP UP! QSY!” on the DX station’s TX frequency have just
become part of the problem, not the solution
. Sending “HE’S LISTENING UP YOU IDIOT” or
“SPLEEEEEET! SPLEEEEEET!” and further QRM breaks the terms of your amateur license, for a
start, indicates that YOU are the idiot and no doubt proves the diminutive proportions of your
delicate reproductive anatomy. If the QRMer is a local with a strong signal who doesn’t heed the
kops, he probably doesn’t realize everyone is shouting at him: if you really must, turn off your
amp and un-split to send him
one brief message
between the DX overs e.g. “Charlie Tango
split”. If he carries on regardless, go back to the pileup. DO NOT CARRY ON CHASTISING HIM ON
-AIR as that just encourages other pileup kops and lids to start railing at you for transmitting on
top of the DX, and pretty soon WW III breaks out.
DON’T DO IT!
Bite your knuckle. Shout at the
Morse key. Send the fool an email if you like, telling him he’s busted. But whatever else you do,
DO NOT TRANSMIT AGAIN ON THE DX STATION’S TX FREQUENCY.
Resist the urge.
According to famed Roman philosopher Marcus Aurelius, deliberate interference is degrading and
goes against nature: “Begin each day by telling yourself:
Today I shall be meeting with
interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, ill-will, and selfishness - all of them due to
the offenders' ignorance of what is good or evil.
But for my part I have long perceived the
nature of good and its nobility, the nature of evil and its meanness, and also the nature of the
culprit himself, who is my brother (not in the physical sense, but as a fellow creature similarly
endowed with reason and a share of the divine); therefore none of those things can injure me,
for nobody can implicate me in what is degrading. Neither can I be angry with my brother or fall
foul of him; for he and I were born to work together, like a man's two hands, feet, or eyelids, or
like the upper and lower rows of his teeth. To obstruct each other is against Nature's law - and
what is irritation or aversion but a form of obstruction?”
To close, here’s something not the least bit funny - someone sending SOS over 8R1AE on 40m.
They sent two SOS messages (I didn’t have the recorder running for the first one), neither time
giving any ship’s name or location etc. I am 99% sure it was just another cretin or drunk
deliberately QRMing the DX but it is remotely possible that this was a genuine desperate
emergency call for help - a sobering thought. If you ever hear one, jot down the details and call
the emergency services.
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